I don't like the term "self care" but I've been watching fight scenes from Kill Bill this last week or two to work through some things.
Silly Rabbit.
I watch them at the gym instead of listening to music sometimes.
<You call that begging?>
Maybe it's a little extreme but... at work we're being required to wear masks again and things are looking bleak in many respects for civilization. Meanwhile I still go to school and keep house, and pretend like life is normal.
I finally did something about my patio, and I really have to start taking before and after pics. It's been so hot I barely do any outdoor work, but this evening I went out there with a weed whacker and a hack saw and cleaned up most of the concrete and surrounding bits by the fencing. My neighbors are away so maybe I'll have everything looking really good by the time they get back. A couple days ago when I was outside watering the plants I realized my yard looks like no one really lives here. Weeds were growing out of the cracks in the patio and blackberry vines are trailing over the edges. There's still a lot of work to do but maybe that will be the fun part.
I have been giving a lot of thought to the origins of anxiety, how I first perceived it , and how it comes up now. It's as if when it does happen I'm not sure what's going on, I can't put a name to it. A week ago I had a mild anxiety attack that lasted for most of a day, in which I could barely collect my thoughts or identify any of my immediate needs. It feels more like being not fully awake rather than being nervous. Ever since that day I've been better but I've been mulling over how I can make some little positive changes and take breaks. That day I had also had a small amount of alcohol, which made me even more aware of how sensitive I am to it. I never want to need meds again, though I wouldn't rule it out. I just want to manage as best as I can. And I want to write more about my experiences so that I can help people if I can.
This week is going to be my last in my current term at school. I've been studying for over a year now! I have much more to go but I'm no longer afraid of transferring and taking on harder classes. I'm ready!!
Another thing that I've been pondering is that looking over your own mental health (and wellness in general) truly is.a gift you give yourself. Being your own advocate and learning to pay attention to the little warning signs your mind and body are giving you is a lifelong process. I'm still learning to recognize and respond to my mental health matters. It's worth the time and study it takes to become familiar with all of those things. I feel like for once in my life I have the resources I need to see to them.
I forgot in my last post to give a mention to a new free stuff exchange happening in my own neighborhood! This is organized by Food Not Bombs, who as you might remember served food at The Really Really Free Market. This one happened in Laurelhurst Park a week ago Saturday and I was told that it will recur on a frequent basis but I don't know all of the details yet.
I went with two of my friends, one of whom brought some things of her own to give away. I had a few clothing items and a bunch of movie and music magazines that I had left over from my old swap meet days. We spread them out on a sheet on the ground and went to get some eats from FNB. I finally got a chance to ask them about volunteering so now I have some contact info.
My mission was successful and I got rid of a lot of the magazines. I took home a couple things but there just wasn't a lot that I wanted or needed. This event was a lot smaller in scale than the RRFM but the folks that came brought a lot with them.
We hung out until it really started to wind down - it was a short event too but that was ideal. It might have been better if we had been in a more central location in the park to attract some of the weekend crowd but I don't have any real complaints. The vibe was really positive and neighborly and I was happy that it was so close to home.
Ok, now that I have that out of the way I can get into my current obsession: Korean cop procedural/sci fi time travel action drama TUNNEL.
I just became part of a small K-drama appreciation group of work friends so now I'm going to have lots to talk about with them. I'm only on episode two so far but it's just getting weirder! I'm rewatching Bridgerton to balance out the crime ugliness with something nicer.
I haven't been wild about fireworks since high school so I'm glad that they're banned this year due to the severe heat and dryness in the Pacific Northwest. It's my weekend today and I didn't really celebrate. I marked the occasion by unclogging a nasty drain problem in my tub.
This is really a major event for me, because I had to use a snake (or a drum auger) for the first time in my life. I thought it would be expensive (it wasn't) or time consuming (not very). I put it off because I'd hoped it would be solved by the old baking soda and vinegar treatment, but that didn't do anything this time.
I followed this video from YouTube to get the advice I needed:
Most how-to videos will tell you to penetrate the actual drain, but I had to take out the plug mechanism (as shown in this one) because the coil wouldn't bend as I needed it to. Fortunately I didn't have to take out everything; I just snaked down the middle of that part at the end that looks like a bell. It took some persistence but in a few minutes I pulled up a nice chunk of hair!! The water drained like magic afterwards!
Cleaning the coil was the hardest part. It was so nasty! I wiped it down with a bleach solution and cleaned out the tub thoroughly.
Looking back, I don't think I've done a whole lot of bathroom cleaning tips, but it's one of the jobs that gives me the happiest results. I keep all of my cleaning products in the bathroom and a couple different brushes and sponges. Old toothbrushes are great. It's important to vacuum the floor before wet cleaning.
I've been on another true crime watching spree on Netflix and it's been a journey. I highly recommend the Dirty John series, based on the podcast by journalist Christopher Goffard. The first season focused on the eponymous John Meehan, a con artist played by Eric Bana. The second season is about the Betty Broderick case, unrelated to the Meehan plot whatsoever. I had seen her story told on American Justice years ago and I formed a strong negative opinion about her, but the Dirty John series has a lot of subtlety in the development of her family life and the toll it took on her. It doesn't excuse her actions but it explains much more than an hour-long TV show could. Christian Slater is as great as ever as Daniel Broderick, her cheating and gaslighting husband.
I tried watching Sophie: A Murder in West Cork, which describes the murder of Frenchwoman Sophie Toscan du Plantier on the vacation property she owned in rural Ireland. I was surprised at how the documentary dragged repeatedly, and seemed to gloss over the failures in the investigation in order to focus on the eccentricities of the main suspect, Ian Bailey. Bailey's history of violent behavior is barely touched upon. I stopped watching in the middle of the second episode.
I watched the entirety of American Murder: The Family Next Door, a total of 82 minutes in length. I'd been avoiding it for no particular reason but I gave in yesterday. The story has a lot of parallels with the Scott Petersen case, but the husband in this case confessed not long after he murdered his family. As short as it was, it was the hardest program of all to watch this week.
I'll switch from all of that evil nonsense to leave you with a clip of someone who is by far the opposite of sociopath: this young fellow Hampton. I watch his channel to get all kinds of advice. His fitness tips are the best I've ever seen, and he breaks everything down so carefully. His thoughts on mental and emotional well being are priceless too and he is just the kindest, gentlest soul. "Hello, my friends!"
Yesterday was another episode of The Really Really Free Market! I feel another Clapton Is God moment about to burst:
Some of the highlights from yesterday include: spotting a DVD copy of Raising Arizona that may or may not have been the same box being picked up and dropped off from one table to the next; getting a free oat milk "latte" flavored generously with vanilla bourbon syrup (non alcoholic); having a spontaneous conversation with a teenagerish person about our favorite Victorian authors; and another delightful sandwich and some rather soupy apple cobbler from Food Not Bombs.
I've been giving a lot of thought to becoming a volunteer somewhere soon, and I've contacted Food Not Bombs to see if they need help in my area. I literally just emailed so I don't know anything yet. I'd been interested in serving food to people who need it and I love the work they've been doing so maybe this will work out! I'm excited to do it especially now that I'm vaccinated. I have been wanting to volunteer again somewhere for so long and this feels right to me.
Well, I'd like to say more but my computer has a low battery. I'm about 3/4 done reading 1Q84 and still working on Breakfast of Champions. I've been binge watching The Good Fight on my new dvd player and it's pretty good. It begins as the 2016 election happens and the unfortunate part is reliving all the antics of the first two years (so far) of that administration. I'd almost rather have a show that is MORE removed from reality.
Today I'm reviewing The Really Really Free Market, which took place for the first time on April 10th 2021 in the Gateway Discovery Park in Portland! It's supposed to happen every second Saturday going forward so this is a superb consolation prize for losing the Twilight Rummage Sale. More on that subject later.
RRFM is on Instagram. Like me, most attendees brought bags and boxes of clothes and things and just spread them on a blanket or picnic table. Food Not Bombs served sandwiches and other lunchy food, and I got chicken and beans from another table. A couple artists made crafts for giveaway and some folks brought coverings on poles for their spaces. I did a little research and apparently there have been other RRFMs in other parts of town in years past.
I brought a bunch of clothes and I enticed one of my friends into doing the same. I loved it because I could leave everything on the picnic bench while I went around looking. I have to admit that most of what I took home I'll be bringing back next month because it didn't fit, but that's ok.
With regard to the Twilight Rummage Sale, the Covid-19 restrictions made it impossible to happen anymore. As if that weren't enough, the Eagles Lodge where it happened was abruptly shut down, so if the events I've written about ever happen again they'll be elsewhere. It's really sad that it all ended this way. When I started selling things at the sale it was partly to help me make room for the new life I had to start after losing my husband and it became a place where I had so many friends and memories.
At least Village Merchants is still going strong. I brought them some clothing in exchange for trade credit. I'm looking for gardening implements and VM has those as well as tools, housewares, and of course clothing. I found some tomato cages for a couple bucks each!
In more good news: I am now fully vaccinated as of yesterday. I had aches, fever and chills as well as weird fatigue and heaviness in my whole body, but it's worth it! I'd do it again!
Finally: I had an accident on my bike last week and sprained my left arm. I braked to avoid getting hit by a car and my bike fell on me. It's been over a week now and I'm doing a lot better. I hope I'll be back to my normal work duties when my weekend is over.
This is enough for now. I'll have another post soon about my latest Buy Nothing page activity as well as some other organizing stuff I'm up to. Thanks for looking!
I don't have a lot of news but I'm making spring cleaning plans. This made me want to make a list of repurposing/donation sites that might be useful to some. Because of Covid-19, some places have changed their rules for accepting materials, so I'm making notes for each (links forthcoming):
SCRAP: this is the best place to give and get used art making materials! They will accept donations by appointment, which can be made online. Their store is, happily,open for business.
Friends of the Library: one of my favorite places to donate books and other media, however they are currently not accepting new material at this time.
Free Geek: they are taking donations of computer and other tech equipment in bins outside of their storefront locations. See the guidelines on their website.
SE Portland Tool Library: it's tragic, but they are closed for the time being. I really, really need to borrow several tools. There are other tool libraries in the Portland Metro area so check their websites to see if their policies are any different. My guess is no.
Buy Nothing Groups (Facebook): these are very active and still insisting on contactless pickups. I've had many safe, successful gifting experiences in the last few months, so I recommend these if you are on Facebook.
Vietnam Veterans of America: The pickup policies for clothing and small household items are the same, after temporarily stopping operations for a while. Their pickup dates are less frequent. They still do not do furniture items, just smaller things that one person can carry easily.
The thrift stores around here all seem to be taking donations on the regular. Please be a champ and visit my old hangout Better Bargains - they will give you a coupon if you give them a bag of clothing. The employees are charming babes who will call you "hun". I got a senior discount last time I was there even though I don't qualify!! Bonus!!!!
It's been too long since we celebrated something together! Take me in your (virtual) arms (no mask required):
I had another post partially written, but I’ve just deleted it. What can I say that thousands of people aren’t saying already about the past year? Yet here I am typing on my phone because I left my laptop at home. I’m in Olympia looking after my elderly father, who’s had some medical issues (not COVID-19 related)in the last few days. As I’ve mentioned before I work in a grocery store and you’ve probably heard about all the stuff that goes with precautions in in that realm. I’m just worn out talking about it.
I was feeling a little blocked but listening to this helped a lot:
Ok, that’s all I got for now! Thanks for checking in.
I started this post while I was on my mini-vacation last week. I don't know if it's a symptom of the Covid era but I was really hard on myself about getting all kinds of things done. I had arranged the time off because I was getting burned out at work! I was kind of tired out after I came back to work. So, I'm having a do-over weekend right now.
On the upside, my bathroom is a lot cleaner than it has been in a long time.
Ok, I took this photo and didn't really look at it until now, so it's a pretty depressing image. I got this brush for free when my neighbor moved and I promise that it was in almost new condition at the time. Product review: the rubber grip was easy on my palms and the handle was flexible enough to take the curves and corners as well as absorb the force of cleaning. With some bleach and Bon Ami it took off the worst of the scum. Good job me, picking up other people's leavings.
I've picked up watching Mindhunter again on Netflix. I took a long break because it's really dark and some of the drama is based on real crimes. Charlize Theron and David Fincher executive produced it so you know it's good, and it feels like a Fincher movie. If you liked Zodiac you'll like this series. Vintage procedural style at its best.
I attempted to watch Behind Her Eyes, a psychological thriller that is largely formulaic and shallow. I went ahead and read spoilers because I didn't think there was going to be a payoff, and I'm glad I did because it got too zany. The cast wasn't bad, but I kept sensing that they weren't connecting with the script as they had in other roles. B minus.
Ok, well, let's have another Harry Styles moment. Carpool Karaoke makes me really happy and excited, and can I add that I LOVE his SHIRT?!? Thanks for reading!
In case you haven't heard, this week has been a pile of loony shite! Last week ended quite nicely with the snowfall. I took some pleasant walks around the neighborhood. The ice and widespread power outages changed everything. Mine went out for about 24 hours, but there were a lot of Portland folks who were without for days longer. The electricity died at my job so the stock was heavily affected, and once we opened again we were slammed. Trees are down all over town, and because it's Portland the trees are huge so even if it's a fallen branch it's a big fat one.
I haven't a whole lot else to say except that I don't understand how I live alone and use an entire dinner service worth of crockery to feed myself over a couple of days.
I've been browsing Buzzfeed for just about everything: news, gossip, how-to's, etc. They have tons of "articles" that are really lists of products titled something like "30 Items You Didn't Know Would Make You Feel Like a Baller LOL" and a lot of these are for storage/sorting containers. I'm seriously anti-spending when it comes to organizing but I like glancing over the lists. Maybe it makes me feel superior? But I found this funny thing when I searched "organizing".
I've been reading Haruki Murakami's 1Q84. The length is intimidating (over 1100 pages) but I'm already over 400 pages in and while it's not an easy read it balances intensity with nonchalance, no wasted details. There's a particular passage that I just read where the spare language subtly deepens the weirdness. This novel, like everything else I've read by Murakami, defies any classification. A fucking plus.
Thursdays are my Fridays, so if you're reading this I've been moving between the sofa and the kitchen since I got home. I have an open container of salsa on my right and my sketchbook and phone to my left. I work in the grocery industry so I was on my feet all day today and most of yesterday. I talk about the weather at this job more than I ever thought I would, especially today because of the imminent snow storms. I have to repeat everything I say at least once because of the masks we all wear and the background noise in the store where I work. I like my job, but when my week is done I am so tired and haven't even realized it until I'm home. I just want to eat and scribble and watch TV.
I'm in the middle of watching The Haunting of Bly Manor on Netflix. It's a limited series that is a creative retelling of Henry James' classic 1898 novella The Turn of the Screw. The original work leaves a lot to the imagination, which is partly why it is such a great psychological thriller. The Netflix adaptation in particular gives more background to the characters. Mike Flanagan created this show as well as The Haunting of Hill House so it's going to be dark, dark, dark, and brilliant. He invited Henry Thomas back for another role in this program, which makes it extra special!
OK, so my latest exploit has been a lucky encounter on the Buy Nothing group page that I belong to on Facebook. Someone offered to collect used up batteries and light bulbs to donate to Ridwell for recycling, and as it happened I was collecting many, many of these for a future recycle plan that never happened.
My understanding of how the Ridwell program works is that you subscribe to a monthly collection and they give you a box in which to place your items. I just had to bring my crap to the porch of the person I met via Facebook. No fees necessary!!!
I just wish I had taken before-and-after photos of the kitchen drawer where I kept the batteries for years. It was filled with all kinds of strange items. I cleared it out and organized it, but I wouldn't have if I hadn't had the opportunity to donate!
I'll leave you with a random thought I had this morning after I showed up for work: deep fried shrimp are the corndogs of the ocean. I had that thought as I walked down the frozen foods aisle. You're welcome.
I now have a number of small containers that cost me nothing, which I use to hold a lot of the smaller things in the cupboards and fridge. Mostly they are berry baskets, either paper or plastic:
tea bags
supplements
sauce packets (sorry about the crumbs)
I'll have you know that styrofoam is the devil, but I found a few round little pieces at work that no one wanted and I'm using them to prop up my plants! You can't see them in this pic because they are underneath everything, making up for the uneven surface of the plant stand:
I put one inside the yellow planter but beneath the plant pot to give it a little boost, because the leaves were touching the edges too much. Styrofoam is gross to the touch and nearly impossible to recycle but it worked really well in this case.
OK, speaking of the devil, I'm done with The Queen's Gambit and I'm trying to stretch out my enjoyment of Dorohedoro as long as possible, so I started watching Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened. Billy McFarland is the styrofoam of human beings and I almost stopped watching because he and his buddies are so toxic and crude that I want to stomp them She-Hulk style. It's shameful that such a massive rip-off happened, but it would have been gross even if they had been able to pull it off. This is a great documentary about a bunch of deplorable pieces of shit. The tone is set when they make a toast to "f*cking like porn stars".* I rate this film four groin punches.
*"Like porn stars"? Why would you? They f*ck like they're sprinting to the finish line.
Today gave us the perfect sunny window for a photo shoot with the new plant stand:
I started watching The Queen's Gambit on Netflix, after putting it off because it seemed to be mentioned everywhere. It's good! The word is that a lot of fans started getting chess sets to learn to play during the pandemic and that's fine. I played chess as a child quite a lot with my sister. The games would be about 10 minutes long on average because we were doing it all wrong. The set once belonged to my cousin and had these really cool stone pieces. The hinge was broken on the box and I replaced it with one that was too small but I was proud because I was nine and fixed something myself.
If you've known me for some time, then you know I have a lot of sweet hookups for getting free stuff for my house. This is a blog segment I'll call The Free Box even though things aren't always in a box when I find them. Like this great plant stand:
I was walking with a friend on the way back from SE Division and someone had left a few items, mostly wicker furniture, just off the curb behind a pickup. A guy came out of the house nearby and told us we could take what we wanted!
People are really generous about giving things away on the sidewalks in front of their homes here in Portland. This past year I've come across a wire basket for my garden tools, a bucket with a spout complete with a newish scrub brush, books from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series (that I happened to want to read very much just then), a bottle of high-end maple syrup, and a milk-glass IKEA table lamp. I almost forgot: a black and chartreuse Adidas backpack, clean and in excellent shape except for a small zipper that didn't work. I once found a vintage metal dollhouse in Laurelhurst but it wouldn't fit in my bike basket so I had to leave it behind. I try to only take things that are going to be really useful.
It's no secret that people got wild cleaning out their hovels during quarantine and I was no exception!
I forgot to mention in my last post that I've been making my bed every day this year so far. This is a boring detail, but I got the idea from a YouTube workout video. The person doing all the exercise had to make her bed each day as part of the routine to help change her mindset. It's not a bad concept!
Ok, enough practical jibber jabber for now. I've been watching some K-dramas and one of them is It's Okay to Not Be Okay:
It's great, but I'll be honest: I'm not rooting for their relationship yet. I think their chemistry is getting better and I like all of the characters as individuals, but I enjoy the parts with the main guy and his brother and best friend most. The slow burn in K-dramas is more intense and drawn-out than I'm used to, so I have hope for this entanglement. Plus, the episodes are LOOONNNG and there are 16 episodes, so there's a long way to go.
It looks like I did only a little work on the kitchen today but I made more progress than it looks like:
Well, now that I've seen both pics side by side I have to give more credit. Not shown: I organized three cupboards and consolidated some things into containers that had been standing mostly empty.
Here's a hack I never thought of until today: I always have had trouble storing long taper candles and keeping them safe from breaking or bending. Today I put them in some tall unused flower vases, and they'll be upright until they're ready to use.
Also not shown: I took out the trash, recycling and compost. I had a few little pumpkins on my porch as decoration so I threw those in the big green bin out front as well.
I've been a member of The People's Yoga for a few months since they began a sliding scale monthly fee, so I've been livestreaming classes for a while. They have recorded classes too that are accessible with a membership. When I had to quarantine last spring for a couple weeks I treated myself to yoga blocks and a strap which are pretty indispensable, and now I even have a bolster. Don't be fooled, I'm not very good but I'm trying and it's helped a lot these last few months. I took a vinyasa class today where the instructor spends a portion of time doing the wild handstands and backbends, and I just did some basic stretches while that's all going on.
One thing I'm kind of excited about is Harry Styles and this new-ish song. I didn't want to like him but now I can't stop thinking about how great this is:
Ok then - I'll be back in touch in a couple days. Wear your mask, don't be a jerk!
It's January 2021 and high time for a little Seasonal Affective Disorder to reign. Symptoms: lack of energy and focus, loss of desire to participate in recreational activities (other than TV), general disorder of the environment. These, at least, are what I'm experiencing lately.
I'm turning to my old blog to help me record some before-and-afters of projects, as well as an outlet for occasional depression that happens around this time of year. The onset usually hits right before the holiday season.
OK, that being said, here's a before pic of my crappy kitchen!
Don't be afraid. I've already done some work and it is a lot better.
Like I said, I've been watching a lot of TV lately. A few months ago I finally got internet in my house again and I've been watching a lot of Netflix. One of my favorite programs is an anime called Dorohedoro!
